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Monday, October 3, 2011

The Dating Game

The Dating Game

    Eric and I held to each other a little tighter as we chomped popcorn and listened to the horror stories of our friend's big city dating lives, as if they were brilliant works of fiction.  We moved to NYC together and avoided the online dating that our friends had became subject to.  We couldn't believe our luck...that we had somehow skated past the awkward intros and getting to know you's that remind us of those gangly legged, crooked teeth years of changing into a teenager.
Well, I'm here to tell you mommies...It ain't over yet!

    We were the first of our friends in this city to have a child.  Having spent the first year on tour.  I found my mom friendships thru blogs, stories...a virtual world.  As Sophie's 1st birthday came and went, I began to realize the need for socialization among other mom/kid pairs.  I put my self respect, judgments, and reservations on the shelf and put my fingers to the keyboard.  There were more than a few "groups" on line for moms in the L.A. area, but they dwindle down to 2 or 3 once you factor in location and age of your child.  Some mom groups were for parents over 35 or 40, which I understand wanting to be with people that have your age-experience, but I felt so isolated and outcast.  So, I finally found a group to join.  The way it works is that you request to be a part of the group and wait to be accepted. I poured over a message to the group leader explaining how awesome we were at participating and planning.  ..... Days went by...Accepted!  Phew.

     Now to go to our first outing.  There was a group date in a park that was a few minutes drive away from our place.  Sophie and I packed up and headed out.  We were early, so I set up the blanket that they suggested to bring and and began to play with Soph.  I looked at the other moms, eager and open, trying to see if anyone else looked as lost as I felt.  Nope.  Everybody seemed to be in there element, with their clique, and not wanting any part of our blanket.

     Finally, there she was... In slow motion, she approached, my new best mom friend.  She was kind and smart and sweet and her baby was sweet too.  Never mind that we were the only two to show up.  The organizer never even came.  We were both a little tentative, but decided to meet again at a Mall for music time.  She was going through the same thing we were...being new to town for her husband's work.  We met a few more times, but the relationship sort of just dwindled away with changing nap times and schedules.  But what more can be expected of two...moms, drawn together by the internet.  It was a fling.  Nothing more, nothing less.