During Sandy

Eric informed me before he went to his show that it would just be a few drops of rain.  He informed me that if he was wrong, I had full permission to hold it over his head and say...I told you so.   Preparing the apartment, getting water, flashlights, filling the bathtub, getting can foods, I hoped I wouldn't have to take him up on his oh so generous offer.  I was closely monitoring this storm, as I had so many before.  Growing up in Florida, I am no stranger to hurricanes. I knew that this was going to be bad.  Being so close to the water there was going to be no avoiding the battering of a storm so big and slow.  The only question was...how bad will it be for us?  The subways closed down, all of downtown Manhattan lost power, and they began announcing no school or service the following day/days in NYC.  As the night went on, the winds picked up and shook our windows on the 12th floor.  I huge hawk, about 3 ft tall was blown into our window and took refuge on our fire escape.  I opened the curtain to see what the commotion was and there was my friend, the hawk, looking at me as if to say, help me, lady.  He was remarkably huge. We even got to see him spread his wings in an attempt to air them out.  His time in our refuge was short and he was soon blown away.  We had some flickering of the lights, but the power stayed on.  Sophie was unable to go to bed as the heart of the storm was between 6 and midnight.  The wind and rain beat on the windows in the bedroom, so we made a Rain Party and let her stay up late.  Our party had popcorn and milk accompanied by Rapunzel and Tinkerbell movies.  At midnight, as the worst of Sandy moved out, Sophie crashed into bed and slept late into the morning. We are waking to see how everyone else survived the storm, as we did.

Growing Pains

I realized shortly after being here that Sophie would love to have some friends, like those few we had developed in L.A.  I kept my eyes peeled at the park for a mom.  I see one!  I see one!  Oh my gosh, she has a daughter that is exactly Sophie's age.  She initiates some small talk...the old "how old is she,she's cute, and where do you live."  She decides I'm ok and we stick together throughout the park.  Soph is eyeing her older kids and trying to keep up.  As she can't climb as high or run as fast as the 7 yr olds, she becomes upset.  I calm her down and we head to the sandpit.  I set Sophie inside, next to the other sweet little girl and perch on the edge next to her mom.  We start chatting about schools and things to do.  It's going well, I think.  Definitely going to get her number and try to do a playdate.  They live close and the girls are playing well.  I'm just so excited!  The girls are playing just out of reach and I'm staring at Soph and daydreaming of a long friendship of park days, museums, and ice cream outings.  Soph looks back at me as if she can read my mind and then...it happened.  Her eyes glazed over, she took the shovel full of sand in her hand and poured it directly down the front of her own coat.  Embarrassed, I quickly got up and brushed her off asking why she would do that and telling her that is not what a shovel is for.  I go back to my seat and turn around to see.  Dun, dun, dunnnnn.  Sophie stares at me stone-cold and pours and shovel full of dirt down the other little girls shirt.  Immediately, I jump to my feet and demand an apology.  My reprimand is meet with that new stone-cold stare.  What is happening?  And why now?  I gave Sophie to the count of 3 to apologize.  With each number, I knew that this was not happening and the Time Out of her life would have to be enforced when we got home.  As I picked Sophie up, I apologized to the other mom and got our things together.  Other Mom was very kind, but gave me the definative brush off with the, "I hope it all works out.  Good luck."  She said it in that way that she never planned on seeing me again in her life, as if we had just bombed a job interview.  As I pushed Sophie up the hill back towards the apartment, she began to sing.  I kept stopping to remind her of how much trouble she was in.  As we enter the apartment, she literally has her arms out in flight and is singing at the top of her lungs.  She's so sure she has gotten her way.  I had to giggle a bit behind the stroller at the absurdity of all this, but then I knew I needed to enforce our rules and be the Momminator.  I came around the edge of the stroller and heard my own mother's stern voice come out as I walked her to the corner of the bedroom to face the wall and explained how hurtful her actions were to the other little girl and to me.  She was crying from the second she got down.  After a good 3 minutes in Time Out, I went in to talk.  True sadness and understanding came from the same eyes that had just been cold.  Wow.  I could not believe the power of the Time Out.  The next day, we were on the other side of things at the park and Sophie did a complete 180.  She was an angel child.  What do you know?  All those people that say kids need clear boundaries and discipline are right.  It actually works!  As for the friends that were at our fingertips...oh well.  These things happen.  Sophie and I both grew that day is our respective roles as Mommy and Daughter.  That growth is the important thing to take away from our morning at the park.

Here we go again!

Eric booked a Broadway show.  We are leaving our home in L.A. and heading to New York for the Fall!  Peter and the Starcatcher is the kind of show that reawakens your artistic spirit.  It will be great to have that in his fuel tank going into pilot season.  We could all feel New York calling us.  We packed up the house, got some sub-letters and headed out top the big apple.  This was sure to be a great experience for all of us.  Eric will get his artistic fulfillment, I will get to be with Sophie full-time again, and Sophie is at an age where she is learning so much and what better place to be stimulated than New York City!  Here we go again!

Decision 2011: L.A. or New York

   Settling in. So, Eric and I have spent a lot of time mulling over the possibility of staying in LA for a while, when the tour ends. It seems that Eric has some excitement about his availability for working with his agents out here. We did the old fashioned pros and cons list. Then we looked to our gut. In this business, there is no guarantee of work wherever you are, so we just are trying to make the best decision based on projections. My agent in NYC had just began calling me about auditions, since the baby, and with knowing we were to be returning to NYC in a few weeks. Her excitement felt good to me and like a fresh start would be waiting. My first call was to come in for Bring It On. The popular movie, turned musical was beginning a tour that was to begin in LA for a long sit down and then headed out on the road. This led us to the realization that our criteria for touring was now extremely different than ever before. The money had to be good enough that it was worth it to bring Soph. The thought of a lifestyle that had us not seeing each other that much was why we toured together with Shrek. Secondly, Eric needed to really work off of the steam that he had from doing Shrek in L.A.. As most mommies find out and cannot predict, going back to work has different stipulations than you can imagine. You have to factor in the cost of childcare, the emotional cost of being away, and how much you will actually be bringing home. I called my agent and told her what I had recently discovered about myself...I was no longer interested in touring. Touring is what makes up half of our viable jobs in the theatre world, but now was just not the time. Soon after, Eric was met with the same question concerning Les Mis and came to the same difficult conclusion. If we hadn't just come off of over a year if touring, we would all feel differently about it.

   One of the main factors for our decision was the thought that the springboard of Shrek would only happen once in LA. Eric had always wanted to try LA and it seemed as if all signs pointed to now being the perfect time. Eric was set up with meetings with casting executives from almost every major network, as a result of playing Shrek and playing it well. His agency was bi-coastal, so he already had a team of guys in place working to get his career off the ground here.

   I felt a bit sad myself. Just as I had finished the commitment to tour for a year with a newborn and was ready to make a comeback after losing my baby weight and spending the first year as the primary care-taker. It looked as if we I was going to have to rethink my plan. My agent was only in NYC so I was left with no representation on the West Coast. The difference is in NYC, there are auditions you can go to without an agent and here in L.A. you can't get into an audition without representation. It seemed as if my career was starting back at square one. Theatrical credits don't mean as much in Los Angeles.

   I did decide that if this is what Eric wanted and if his dream to be a series regular on a sit-com was to ever happen, we needed to be here. So, I retained my realistic outlook on what my situation was, but decided to look to what I needed to do to get things rolling for me.  I took registered for some imrov classes and reached out to the few actors I knew to get representation. My friend Jane, from Mamma Mia recommended me to her agent and we began a series if meetings. I was told by a huge agency that they only work with celebrities and another big agency that they work only with people with reels. We'll, the LA experience just wouldn't be complete without a touch of rejection. Here we go!


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The Dating Game

The Dating Game

    Eric and I held to each other a little tighter as we chomped popcorn and listened to the horror stories of our friend's big city dating lives, as if they were brilliant works of fiction.  We moved to NYC together and avoided the online dating that our friends had became subject to.  We couldn't believe our luck...that we had somehow skated past the awkward intros and getting to know you's that remind us of those gangly legged, crooked teeth years of changing into a teenager.
Well, I'm here to tell you mommies...It ain't over yet!

    We were the first of our friends in this city to have a child.  Having spent the first year on tour.  I found my mom friendships thru blogs, stories...a virtual world.  As Sophie's 1st birthday came and went, I began to realize the need for socialization among other mom/kid pairs.  I put my self respect, judgments, and reservations on the shelf and put my fingers to the keyboard.  There were more than a few "groups" on line for moms in the L.A. area, but they dwindle down to 2 or 3 once you factor in location and age of your child.  Some mom groups were for parents over 35 or 40, which I understand wanting to be with people that have your age-experience, but I felt so isolated and outcast.  So, I finally found a group to join.  The way it works is that you request to be a part of the group and wait to be accepted. I poured over a message to the group leader explaining how awesome we were at participating and planning.  ..... Days went by...Accepted!  Phew.

     Now to go to our first outing.  There was a group date in a park that was a few minutes drive away from our place.  Sophie and I packed up and headed out.  We were early, so I set up the blanket that they suggested to bring and and began to play with Soph.  I looked at the other moms, eager and open, trying to see if anyone else looked as lost as I felt.  Nope.  Everybody seemed to be in there element, with their clique, and not wanting any part of our blanket.

     Finally, there she was... In slow motion, she approached, my new best mom friend.  She was kind and smart and sweet and her baby was sweet too.  Never mind that we were the only two to show up.  The organizer never even came.  We were both a little tentative, but decided to meet again at a Mall for music time.  She was going through the same thing we were...being new to town for her husband's work.  We met a few more times, but the relationship sort of just dwindled away with changing nap times and schedules.  But what more can be expected of two...moms, drawn together by the internet.  It was a fling.  Nothing more, nothing less.

   

Pukeville

Well, I guess it's a right of passage, as a mommy. The entire family has the pukes and poops. I came down with it first and I think that was good. While Sophie can't express herself with words yet, at least I knew how she was feeling, when she started her round of it the next day. I spent the first night puking and the second night with puke all over me. You come into the power of not giving a care that your baby is just clutching you and puking directly onto you. In theory, that would bother you. When it's actually happening, you just want to take the sickness away from them. It's just so sad to see them struggle with sickness like that cause they just don't understand. The next morning, just as Soph was coming out of the darkest part of it, Eric started feeling it. He made it through his morning audition and called me on the way home. "This road is like really winding,"he said, referring to the highway on which he was driving home. That was my first clue that he was headed to Pukeville. He made it home, but quickly spiraled into sickness. I had already let my class know I would be missing, as we were supposed to go to a dinner with friends, but now would be manning the sick ship instead. There was no going anywhere. An already spent mommy was now taking care of sick daddy and Soph. We have all been in that slow-mo, moving-thru-water after sick mode, but forget how miserable it is until you are in it once again. Now, on the other side of it, I feel a strange sense of accomplishment. You sort of think for a minute of dramatics that you're doing something terribly wrong, you're the worst mom, it's my fault, and I don't know what to do, but you have no choice but to just figure it out. I'm sure many years, sicknesses, and broken bones later I will laugh at the triviality of our first family stomach virus crisis. For now, I'm just grateful it's over. Phew.


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Disney Days: 1st of Many

With our plans leading us to stay in L.A. for a while, we decided to go the annual pass route for Disneyland. Best decision ever. Maybe not ever or best, but definately a good call.











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This ride seemed like a good idea. All babies Soph's age in line and riding. However, when you take a close look to the actual ride, it looks like she can barely keep her head up. This is no Dumbo, people.



Had the most fun at the live Disney Junior show! She loved seeing all the characters in person. She laid a giant kiss on Mickey's nose when we saw him. Good thing Minnie wasn't around.
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