The Ballad of the Ballerina

The Ballad of the Ballerina.
A Sophie Petersen original work of live theatrical art, as depicted by her mommy, Lisa Morabito Petersen.

       My 3 year old and I have a weekly tradition of going to ballet class on Tuesday morning, followed by a trip to a neighborhood coffee shop.  Soph loves it because they have pink macaroons, bistro tables for two and a shop.
       My ballerina gracefully prances her way into the shop, which has an intimacy that recalls a French cafe.  In it, she looks like a living Degas portrait.  Her pink leotard and tutu bounce playfully and her giant round eyes bob with laughter and seem exceptionally large and beautiful today, as her hair sits in a perfect ballerina bun on top of her head.  The look is completed by a bedazzled mini tiara.
     We choose our snack and grab a table.  A steady stream of admirers pass by and remind Sophie how adorable she looks and inquire about her ballerina costume.  After we enjoy our pink and green macaroons, Sophie enjoys the freedom of choosing a children's book from a magazine rack at the front of the store..."All by her self." As Mommy, I love this feature to the shop because not only does it encourage us to bring our children to the quant shop, but to sit, read, and even stay a while.  Their selection for children are mostly books with heavy themes of being environmentally friendly and scientifically minded.  Oh, it makes me feel so smart and intellectual, I could squeak like a baby dolphin.  The book about invention is followed by a book about how aliens destroyed the world because they used all the resources irresponsibly.  Now that I have patted myself on the back for being such a great guiding mommy, we peruse the store.
     The store is filled with beautiful things...trinkets, candles, paintings, etc.  Deep in the store, one table is an oasis of children's books and toys.  Sophie is relieved when I give her the "ok" to touch the items on that table.  After she thumbs through a few books, she spots a notebook shaped tin with a picture of a ballerina on the front, containing (40+!!!!) magnets to design the dancer's scene.  She turns to me, with the tin hugged to her body. "Dress ups, Mommy!!! Can I take this home with me?  Please?" she says straddling a line of begging and sensibility just perfectly.  "We have so many toys at home Soph.  We just got some things yesterday at the store," I counter.  "But I want to play with this," she argues.  By this point, I am at the cashier prepared to pay for a friend's gift.
      As I turn to look at my daughter, she transports me into her tragedy.  All of the sudden, she becomes aware of the sad French song that is playing throughout the store.  She turns from me, defeated.  Her arms slump, her head hangs forward, and she drags her feet as she forces herself to return the toy to the table. As she gets a few feet from me, the music swells, she turns to me and holds out the toy with both hands, her eyes begging me to love her by buying her this.  She knows I have made up my mind, as she hugs the toy to her chest and dramatically turns toward the table.  She holds her position, as the singer quietly explains something in French.  To the beat of the ballad, Sophie does a trudge, trudge, trudge, trudge all the way to the table.  I laugh to myself, as I think that it almost worked on me. 
       As she lifts the tin, the singer and Sophie have clearly conspired against me.  She glides the tin over it's place on the table, spins to the neighboring table and places it down, with her mournful head on top. Sophie looks up, at just the right angle that might make you mistake her for a lost puppy.  She says nothing and although I don't speak French....I'm prrrrrrtetty sure the singer was narrating Sophie's dance with a "Why don't you love me.  If you loved me, you would buy me this."  Sophie continues her dance with the tin, to the French song.  I turn away, as I can feel my resolve melting by the soft ember burn of her perfectly executed ballet.
       "Bring it to the counter," I say still facing away.
       "What?" says a little voice infused with disbelief.
       "Well," I thought, "If she can't win a Tony for that performance, she should at least get a toy."
        In all seriousness, we, as parents, are constantly caught between the idea of wanting to give them the world and wanting to teach them how to deal with not getting everything they want.  It's a road well traveled and we all do our best.  Today, she showed me she had some real artistic determination and that...I just have to appreciate.  There's a lot of nuance in parenting...and apparently that is not lost on our children.  Enjoy it because, as they say, "It will all be over too soon."


*The picture is from last week's class, but it gives you an idea of what I'm working with here.  Pure cuteness.

Why This Mommy Decided To Get Schooled.

Why This Mommy Decided To Get Schooled.  
     Okay.  Now what?!  I read all the books on development during pregnancy, sleep training, and the anecdotal "make-me-laugh" books by celebrities with babies.   The What to Expect i-phone App gives you a little glimpse of Word Pictures, a track of where your child should be on average, but that just wasn't cutting it for me.  Baby Center offers their weekly advice and is a gathering of the minds and a cyber group where we can compare and contrast thoughts on what we are going through as parents.  I found that with each article I read, I was bogged down with different voices and many times these mommy cyber-hubs become stomping grounds for a virtual yelling match.
     As my search into educational programs for my little girl became more serious, I decided to take things to a whole. 'mother. level.   When it comes to life forms, there are always a number of scientific theories on developmental growth.  It will always be a study and never a definitive because there are so many variables with children that differ among the individual and environment.  Having taken my daughter to a number of classes offering different styles of learning, I was most intrigued by those programs that were yielding, what I observed to have the greatest impact on her social and cognitive growth.
     There was a program in New York City that had a great indoor playground space where we had an experience that made my question clock start ticking.  The lack of any structure at all and a teacher who waited for children to approach her resulted in many children being left behind.  I watched as my daughter tried to make a connection with another child using baby dolls.  The teacher rinsed brushes and then turned and sang a song with zero participation from her class.  As I watched the teacher with her stained apron and a vaguely absent look on her face sing from the corner, behind a desk, to a room full of 2.5 year olds, I wondered...how much glue did she sniff this morning?  We decided not to have Sophie continue in Ms. Sniff's class, but instead found an eclectic blend of classes and play spaces for our 6 months in NYC.
     The question that this experience caused me to raise to myself was, "What am I looking for in an educational environment for my daughter?"  The answer was...I don't know.  I was actually quite embarrassed by the fact that I wasn't privy to the new sciences or developments on education or school preparedness.  Well, I wasn't going to waste anymore time wallowing in my embarrassment.  There's no time like the present to start finding answers.
     Of course, there is the checklist of top schools or "feeder" schools (for those in a big city private school market).  This list only yielded more questions for me.  Why?!  Why are these the best schools or programs?  Is it because some celebrity kids went there?  Is it because it was a great school 20 years ago?  Is there something in the water?
     I had to go deeper.  I reflected on my own childhood.  30 years ago, there just weren't the options that we have today.  The social skills and cognitive learning that we acquired in preschool was often times a happy accident and less a calculated journey to what we now call school-readiness.  I was grateful that it was easy enough to acquire information about milestones from popular parenting websites, but I felt that there was much more to this nut.  I was merely scratching at the shell.
   I'm not sure how many times I read it before it really sank in, but here is the idea that sent me on my newest and most empowering journey yet.  I, as her parent, was her first and greatest teacher.  A while ago, a friend who works at a school in CA had asked if I would be interested in subbing.  I brushed off the idea because I thought I wasn't interested.  All of the sudden, I realized that maybe I needed to be. Maybe I don't need to make a career out of it, but I realized as we began to walk home from Ms. Sniff's disaster that I could acquire this knowledge simply to improve the quality of life and education for myself and my child.  I found a program with some classes that interested me through the UCLA Extension program and before I could blink, I had enrolled.
     What was this strange sensation?  My heart beat quickened.  My palms were sweaty.  This isn't what empowerment was supposed to feel like.  Ahhh.  Self-doubt, my old-nemises.  Long time no see.  What am I doing, I thought?  I've already graduated college.  I'm going to make a fool of myself.  How do you even attend a class online?  This is a joke.  I'm not going to really learn anything.  Arghhh.  I'm just wasting money and time.
     Log In.  As I signed in for my first classes, I began reading from the textbooks about Early Childhood Development and understanding the science of cell make-up, the forming of the child and the various theories and practices that have become widely used and appreciated in the world of Early Childhood Development.  Old Pouty Self-doubty had to retreat to some untapped recess of my now fully engaged mind.  The new information was exciting and I found that it wasn't simply acquiring the information that brought me enjoyment, but rather the fact that I could now, with life experience, bring something special to that information.  Nothing is more empowering than literally feeling yourself blossom from that Miracle-Gro blend of information and experience.
     Since beginning the continuing education classes, I have been able to help our family better define what is right for us in regards to school choice and we have an approach to "at-home" learning that works in tandem with what they do at the program where Sophie is now.  In September, I will have completed my Teaching Certificate through the UCLA Extension.  You don't have to become a teacher to access the information that I found so helpful through my continued education, but there is a world beyond what can be attained through "gut-parenting."  In this article, I mean to champion those who are out there who want more for your kids and are paralyzed or suffocating under a wealth of to-do lists and shoulds.  You don't need someone to tell you what you should do with your child in every circumstance and situation.  There is no perfect playbook.  What we can do is know our kid, know ourselves and teach them to reach...for greatness.

Have you ever thought about going back to school?
   

   

Spyglass Party Craft for Your Pirate Crew!

Mermaids and Pirates!
     That was the theme for Sophie's 3rd birthday party this weekend.  I'm a big fan of having a craft available for the kids to create at birthday parties.  Last year, we did mini canvas paintings for Sophie's Rapunzel themed party.  This year we decided on a spyglass craft for treas-arghhh hunting.  I, for one, think they turned out pretty darn cute.  They were a hit with our crew of 3 year old pirates too!  Here's how we did it.

Supplies

Toilet paper rolls

Paper coffee cups

Knife

Medium brown spray paint

Dark brown spray paint

Yellow 1inch wide ribbon

Hot glue gun

Glue

Tons of your favorite stickers

Directions For Parents.

1.  Cut a hole (smaller than that of the diameter of the toilet paper roll) in the bottom of the paper cup.

2.  Hot glue toilet paper roll to bottom of cup.

3.  Spray paint with Medium brown first, then with dark brown to add textured look.

4.  Hot glue ribbon in 3 places around either end of craft and in the middle.

Directions For Kids.

5.  Use letter stickers and other favorite picture stickers for to decorate the craft.  We suggest spelling your name with stickers first and then follow up with your favorite stickers.  Happy treasure hunting!

Tell us your favorite craft experience.  There are many more birthdays to use all your wonderful ideas!