Growing Pains

I realized shortly after being here that Sophie would love to have some friends, like those few we had developed in L.A.  I kept my eyes peeled at the park for a mom.  I see one!  I see one!  Oh my gosh, she has a daughter that is exactly Sophie's age.  She initiates some small talk...the old "how old is she,she's cute, and where do you live."  She decides I'm ok and we stick together throughout the park.  Soph is eyeing her older kids and trying to keep up.  As she can't climb as high or run as fast as the 7 yr olds, she becomes upset.  I calm her down and we head to the sandpit.  I set Sophie inside, next to the other sweet little girl and perch on the edge next to her mom.  We start chatting about schools and things to do.  It's going well, I think.  Definitely going to get her number and try to do a playdate.  They live close and the girls are playing well.  I'm just so excited!  The girls are playing just out of reach and I'm staring at Soph and daydreaming of a long friendship of park days, museums, and ice cream outings.  Soph looks back at me as if she can read my mind and then...it happened.  Her eyes glazed over, she took the shovel full of sand in her hand and poured it directly down the front of her own coat.  Embarrassed, I quickly got up and brushed her off asking why she would do that and telling her that is not what a shovel is for.  I go back to my seat and turn around to see.  Dun, dun, dunnnnn.  Sophie stares at me stone-cold and pours and shovel full of dirt down the other little girls shirt.  Immediately, I jump to my feet and demand an apology.  My reprimand is meet with that new stone-cold stare.  What is happening?  And why now?  I gave Sophie to the count of 3 to apologize.  With each number, I knew that this was not happening and the Time Out of her life would have to be enforced when we got home.  As I picked Sophie up, I apologized to the other mom and got our things together.  Other Mom was very kind, but gave me the definative brush off with the, "I hope it all works out.  Good luck."  She said it in that way that she never planned on seeing me again in her life, as if we had just bombed a job interview.  As I pushed Sophie up the hill back towards the apartment, she began to sing.  I kept stopping to remind her of how much trouble she was in.  As we enter the apartment, she literally has her arms out in flight and is singing at the top of her lungs.  She's so sure she has gotten her way.  I had to giggle a bit behind the stroller at the absurdity of all this, but then I knew I needed to enforce our rules and be the Momminator.  I came around the edge of the stroller and heard my own mother's stern voice come out as I walked her to the corner of the bedroom to face the wall and explained how hurtful her actions were to the other little girl and to me.  She was crying from the second she got down.  After a good 3 minutes in Time Out, I went in to talk.  True sadness and understanding came from the same eyes that had just been cold.  Wow.  I could not believe the power of the Time Out.  The next day, we were on the other side of things at the park and Sophie did a complete 180.  She was an angel child.  What do you know?  All those people that say kids need clear boundaries and discipline are right.  It actually works!  As for the friends that were at our fingertips...oh well.  These things happen.  Sophie and I both grew that day is our respective roles as Mommy and Daughter.  That growth is the important thing to take away from our morning at the park.