"Come on, man," screams a parent at an umpire over your shoulder at the little league game and before long you are swept into the culture and the screaming is coming from your own mouth. Listen, we all know the parent who screams from the bleachers at the field, losing himself in the moment hoping for the best for their kid, yet revealing their inner crazy. The same thing happens to kid actor parents. One day they are a tearful mom clapping for their little Munchkin in the school play and the next thing they know they have created a tearful child because they are racing all over a city spending every play date time in a waiting room with 100 other miserable children and their hopeful parents. The screams are maybe more internalized with stage parents, but they are screams nonetheless.
When Sophie was still swimming in my belly, people were asking me if we were going to put her in “the business.” I joking would say that I am going to encourage her to be a neurosurgeon instead. Because however difficult that is, it must be easier than the life of an actor. At a certain point though, you begin to realize that your guidance is a mere suggestion and nature is eminent. We have to embrace the fact that she was basically born backstage and raised in dressing rooms, making backstage anywhere feel like home to our little roadie.
EVERY parent, EVERYwhere between NYC to LA has had the revelatory moment as they watch their bundle of joy belt out “Let It Go” on the stage of their living room knows they are sitting on a star. Some parents are satisfied to post it on YouTube or text to grandparents, while others start researching local agents and acting classes. Our journey was somewhere in between those stories.
Because of Eric’s career as an actor, we happened to know a casting director, who years earlier told us to call him when Sophie was ready. During Eric’s taping of the TV show, “Kirstie” for TVLand, Sophie begged that she wanted to do what daddy did...acting. We called up our friend and Sophie took a few meetings with agents. They all wanted her and we asked her who she liked best. She chose the people who gave her candy...go figure. Her first audition was for “Grace and Frankie,” the Netflix show and she booked it! The first season she played Brooklyn Decker’s daughter, granddaughter to Jane Fonda and Lily Thomlin. As she went in for the audition, Eric told her to just be herself in his most valiant attempt at good stage parenting. Her response was indicative of all things Sophie as she matter of factly said,"No Daddy, I'm going to be the character." She loved the routine of the set and being part of the filming. She would come home and transform her pink karaoke mic stand into a boom mic and held it over us, assigning us lines and staging, and directing us with “action” and “cut”. What a pro!
Not too long after that job, we moved to NYC for Eric to do School of Rock and Soph took a break from being a pro to just be a kid. I signed her up for school plays like "Willy Wonka" in CA, where she played an Oompa Loompa, and she took a kids class where they learned basic acting stuff and performed a short musical at the end of the session.
While many parents might view the professional work as better than the school play, I’ve got to say both are equally valuable. It’s important for kids to feel like they are part of the community at their school and to contribute to the greater good, understanding that the experience is a building block of an artist. It might not be the role of a lifetime and there will be no school play that contributes to their college fund, but the community experience builds their life experience, so give them that too!
Just remember that unless Oscar and Tony are the names of your kids, they are not the most important names around.
