Behind the scenes with our family on and off stage in show business, New York to Los Angeles and everywhere in between. Eric, the actor. Lisa, the teacher. Sophie, the 8 year old actor. Miles, the 4 year old comedian. And Simon, their dog. Laugh, cry, and party with us all the way!
If you are a parent, you have perfected the craft of the long term conversation. One of my mom friends called me last week and said, “I have the best drama...ooo gotta go.” I still don’t know what it is, but the conversation is like a good book and unfolds in about the time it takes to read a novel. Everything gets better with time though right? I personally believe that completing a conversation between two parents should be accompanied by cheerleaders and a marching band or a trumpet and a squire with a scroll announcing the completion in an old English accent. Your completion of any conversation represents a touchdown on the family field and an appreciative soft clap from your neighbors in family land. And if you haven’t competed a conversation this week, just lean into that old adage, “It’s not about the end, it’s the journey that counts.” It can be downright frustrating sometimes, but it’s absolutely the truth. While most of the time we are rushing through life, moments like the video of my husband and son improv-ing a song about a monster truck are treasures. These moments require a Time Out in the game of life. Even in my Pre-K classroom, I have to remind myself, as the teacher, that the most vital piece of their success in each moment is knowing that they are heard and someone cares about the things they care about. When writing a blog like this, I have to stop no fewer than 20 times to just listen or take a break and help or just to play. So....maybe I started this blog last week and I’m just wrapping it up. What’s the rush?! I’m committing to channel my very best Mr. Rodgers this week and give my family the presence they deserve. My husband, Eric Petersen, is great at special moments and you can take a look at this video to see it in action. To understand what daily life married to Broadway headbanger and School of Rock star, Eric Petersen, this sweet look at him and our son, Miles, tells you most of what you need to know. I love how supportive Eric is as a husband and father. The video of them making up this song is genius because you see them both LISTENING to each other. He’s always listening to our kids...really listening. He lets them know they are important. It’s a collaboration! He is so mastering this Mr. Rodgers thing!
It's Broadway calling. We used to joke about this when we were starting out in NYC. The phone would ring and we would joke, with 100% wishfulness it were true, that Broadway was calling. Fast forward 10 years and here they were...calling. At the exact same time, our second child, Miles, was calling. The labor pains were hard and fast and once they started there was no slowing down. Miles was about to be born. In the delivery room, about an hour before birth, Eric got a call that Andrew Lloyd Webber wanted to see him for a final callback for School of Rock in NYC (which would be opening on Broadway that year) in 2 days and Mr. Webber would only be there for that day. When it rains it pours and it was pouring...Babies and Broadway. Eric was torn about leaving me, so I booked his flight between contractions with Amex Points and resolve. In this moment, I was excited. When I saw they were doing School of Rock on Broadway, I was convinced in the depths of me that he would play the lead. It was heading to Broadway for the first time and I just knew it was Eric's for the taking. The doctor came in to give the epidural and had to stick the yardstick sized needle in twice because they missed the first time. I realized that the IV was in my right hand and so every time I moved it gently tugged that vein out of the top of my hand. It was uncomfortable but it was fine. It was fine. It was fine. Nothing major was wrong so how could I complain? Miles came into the world happy and healthy, kicking and screaming just like he is supposed to. Eric even got to catch him coming out like a little football and cut the cord. I sang to him and my body shook as I came down off of the drugs they had given me. Kyle and Megan (Eric's brother and his now wife) brought Sophie to meet Miles and it couldn't have been a sweeter moment. Sophia wore her Big Sister T-Shirt and Miles "gave" her a gift. It was just as it should be. In the recovery room, it was dark, and even with the lights on it seemed dim. I remember crying as I felt overwhelmed by all that was happening at the time. It was okay to feel that way because it was, in fact, a lot. The next day, Eric picked up my mom form the airport and brought her to meet Miles. We all headed home and Eric went to NYC to get that job. I was so glad my mom was there because with a four year old at home and bringing in a new baby, you need an extra set of hands and someone who loves you around. Eric got stuck in a snowstorm and couldn't return home right away so 5 days later he was able to get back to us. Sadly, School of Rock (the original cast) went to the other guy. It wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last time something like that happens. Hey, that's showbiz! I'm not gonna lie though, this one hurt. (Although, we all know now that he got the 1st replacement job and did eventually play the lead in School of Rock on Broadway, it was tough to see that first one slip away). Mastitis (infected breast) took over my chest and my temp sky rocketed to 104.5 soon after Eric got home and my mom left. We were really in the weeds. Thank God for Sophie, because she had been bringing me water from the bathroom sink during the time between when my mom left and Eric arrived. It was scary. Eric thought clearly enough to call my doctor and she immediately called in antibiotics for me. What was more clear to Eric than to me was that I was NOT myself. Tears streamed down my face as I walked through the day. I couldn't get out of the funk. If you've ever seen Stranger Things and know "the upside down", that is what life was like. Everything was in it's place, all the people were there and I was going about my day, but it was as if someone turned out the lights. It was dark and had an indescribable sadness that laid heavily on it. Something was wrong, but it was so hard for me to see it. I had Postpartum Depression and it was robbing me of life. Thank God, I knew enough to know this wasn't how it was supposed to be. As if I had an out-of-body experience, I watched Eric take the phone and go to the other room, talking in hushed tones to my doctor. When he came back to hand over the phone so I could talk with her, I thanked my lucky stars that we didn't live in the 50's where I might have been locked up for feeling this way. I was able to be honest with my doctor and myself about how I constantly cried and I hurt in a way that was soul crushing. I felt that no one cared about me and that because I couldn't manage my sadness that maybe it would be easier for everyone if I wasn't there. The thing is...I couldn't find the reason for the sadness. Rationalizing your emptiness is something that prevents people from getting the help they need for depression, but once I realized that this was beyond the scope of rational, I knew I needed to try to get help. She prescribed the highest dose of Lexipro and I battled the depression until the anti-depressant got into my system, which took abut 4 wks. I stuck with it because I desperately wanted to enjoy my baby, my child, and our life again. Soon, I was able to see glimpses of the old self I knew and my response to life was what I expected. In other words, it didn't take me by surprise. Over the next year, I continued to take the anti-depressant and I know that many people stay on them for life once they start them. For me, I knew that the hormones were leveling and I was starting to regulate at about the one year mark. I slowly tapered off of the medicine and began to cope with my normal feelings with my old standbys of tears, wine, and prayer. And here is what surfaced for me as true as I came around the bend and saw light at the end of the tunnel... 1.) It's okay to be sad or feel overwhelmed. Sometimes those are the cards and you have to deal with them and all the feelings that go along with it. 2.) Know when to get help. If you can't manage the feelings that are happening and don't recognize yourself, it's time to call your doctor. 3.) It gets better. I know this was a popular campaign in the last year, but it's because it's true. The dark times sharpen and shine us. Darkness always gives way to light. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Follow us on https://www.instagram.com/lifestylesofabroadwaybaby for more inspiring and funny stories.
